Obesity

Recently I've lost about 25 pounds from a combination of P90X and not having enough money for food. Losing weight has made me more cynical about the whole obesity epidemic that is plaguing the US. I'll admit that this mentality of "if I can do it then you most definitely can" is bound to get me in trouble many many times in the future, but I'm going to take it for a test drive in this post.
Unfortunately for me, I currently work at Coldstone while I await my return to my much better hotel job up north. Besides the fact that I'm destined to get carpal tunnel from continued exposure to ice cream mixing, I see a lot of interesting people that compose our clientele. Mainly, people who should not be eating ice cream. I've never understood the logic behind, "I weigh 250 pounds and I'm 5'8". I'm going to buy a large ice cream shake that has more calories than a weeks worth of food."
I think being a man who possesses a penis gave me an unfair advantage when it comes to losing weight. When I could no longer see all 8 inches of my man meat, I immediately realized that I needed to hit the gym and stop eating shit. Women don't have that. Of course fat women will rarely have as much trouble as fat men when it comes to finding booty. If a woman walks into a bar and shouts, "WHO'S TAKING ME HOME TONIGHT?!", some desperate dweeb will take the bait and copulate like a rabbit that night. If you're a fat guy, you better have a lot of money.
I love how people, girls in particular, try to fake diet. While working at the soulless void of intellectual advancement and potential that is Coldstone, I've had women come up to me and order our "Sinless Sans Fat Sweet Cream Ice Cream" in a Gotta Have It (Large for those of you unacquainted with the unique and extremely corny manner that Coldstone chooses to name their sizes). This completely defeats the point of dieting.
It's also stupid that corporations that make food that is definitely not intended to make you lose weight try to tell you that a flipping TWIX BAR has 30% less fat. News flash. If you're trying to lose weight, DON'T EAT CANDY BARS. EAT AN APPLE. If you're trying to lose weight, DON'T DRINK SODA!!! DRINK WATER!
In a nutshell, fat people upset me. Not because they're fat, but because there was a time when they were not fat. Weight gain is not an instantaneous action. There was a time when this person was only ten pounds overweight. Then 30 pounds overweight. Now 200 pounds overweight. There was a conscious decision that was made that said, "Oh I'm getting fatter. I will continue to eat 16" Sbarro Pizzas with Dairy Queen Blizzards."

Breeding Desirable Humans

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112581/pug-beagle-love-puggle-wsj

So today I was on Yahoo! checking the news as I always do and came across this rare gem of an article. If you're too lazy to click the link, basically this dude is cross breeding various types of dogs to create more desirable versions of man's best friend (Goldendoodles? Really?). I think this idea has a lot of potential. We should apply it to humans and get rid of fat people, rednecks, and feminists.